A Lesson about God from a dog named Baby

I've been thinking a lot lately about learning. More specifically, why I have to keep relearning lessons that I've already learned (and wondering what my teacher is thinking when I don't remember a certain lesson) and wishing I didn't have to learn and make mistakes and fail to get to the finish line, all while trying to remember all I've learned so that I don't mess up and forget the things I've supposedly learned. Yes, if you are thinking this is ironic because I'm a teacher, you'd be right, but God saw fit to teach me a lesson on this very thing using my parents' dog, Baby.

I'd just picked Baby up from the boarders and he was sitting on the couch with me. He didn't seem to need anything even though I offered him his favorite treat and the chance to go outside. After about 20 minutes, I went into the bedroom to work on something while he lay (sleeping, I thought!) on the couch. After about 10 minutes of silence, I hear a little bark, him saying "Umm...shoot! I've lost that human again! Where are you?!!? Did you leave me all alone?" I replied kindly, "Baby, it's okay, I'm in here!" (Yes, I know, I sound like a parent talking to a little child. Bear with me, please!) Baby didn't come into the room I was in, but didn't continue to bark, so I figured that he was settled out on the couch. Another 10 minutes go by and he comes into the bedroom a few minutes before I left. As I walk out to the living room, Baby stays in the bedroom. That's when I noticed the couch. It was very plain to see that Baby had indeed needed to go outside earlier. I got somewhat frustrated at first and said, "Baby...!" thinking that he knows better and why didn't he let me know he needed to go out (he usually will let us know he needs to go outside). Baby heard me say his name and comes slinking out into the living room and I could tell on his face he knew exactly what he did and that he knew he deserved to be scolded. When I saw him with his head down, I softened, remembered that he'd been abused before coming to live with my parents and has always been skiddish no matter how much we've loved him. So I  just called him over to me to pet him and love on him. He SLOWLY made his way over to me and I just pet him and told him it was okay. He wouldn't even come close to me at first, but ever so slowly he would stretch so that I would keep petting him. He's now sitting/sleeping on the couch next to me with his nose inches away from my hand.

That's when it hit me. I'm kind of like Baby. I didn't want to go to God and admit I made a mistake and will make many more mistakes/fail many more times for fear that He'd be angry and upset that I still don't do what I know to do or "I forgot what I had already learned". However, while I'm trying to think of other options to get out of feeling like this and wondering what I could do to make God not be upset with me, God was calling to me and asking me to come and let Him love on me. He wasn't mad, He understood, He LOVED me. Oh, that I would be quick to come to Him all the time.

Please note: This is an analogy! I know I'm not a dog and God isn't treating me like one.
Please note: I've not been abused, don't worry! 

A bit of babbling...perhaps not the most "happy" of posts, but it's honest!

I leave for the DR in 40 days. 40 days. A long time that is really short! Am I ready for this? Can I leave my home with my family, friends, and church and start a new life? I'm so excited...excited to be there, that is. The process of getting there is what's killing me. I KNOW it will happen and everything will turn out fine, good even, but saying good bye to people who have played a huge role in shaping me and growing me, packing up my life into 3 suitcases...these are these things that trigger a sinking, almost desperate feeling in my stomach. I can reassure myself that it's not good bye but see you later and I can tell myself that it's just things, but my heart still heaves at the thought. And while Operation: DR Prep is rightly consuming my thoughts and time, my heart longs to sit and drink coffee with dear friends while we laugh about the frivolous and share about the deep; to read a book that expands my love for my dear Jesus and makes my heart sing with how personal and good He is to His kids; to play with my nephews and chat with my family and the cares of this world won't crowd around us. What is this ache I feel? Honestly, I can only guess and hypothesize about what it is and how to fill it. So for now, I cling to what I know about Jesus' character and plan for me and keep putting one foot in front of the other, tenaciously and desperately trusting that He will give strength and "settledness"  where all I see is weakness and upheaval.

So, you are moving to the DR...How'd that happen?! (Primera Parte)

Well, my dear reader, I'm so glad you asked that! While I would love the chance to sit with each one of you and, over some delicious coffee, and share this story in person, I think that might not be so feasible. Instead, how about you grab a cup of your favorite joe and read how God surprised and led me to the Dominican Republic...at least the first part of the story!

I've always enjoyed missions and teaching, but at the same time dismissed the thought of me teaching overseas. It's a great idea, but only for other people. Actually, I just wasn't ready to learn of that part of my story! After almost 10 years of teaching, God chose this year to begin to make me uncomfortable. I had several different reasons as to why I was feeling so uncomfortable, and I grew even more frustrated when I tried to fix and order my life to push this uncomfortableness away! No matter what I fixed or changed, the uncomfortable feeling hung around. It would ebb and flow, but never completely disappear.

Around the beginning of March, a friend mentioned to me teaching in the DR at the very school where she, her husband, and family had been for 10 years. I thought it was great to fantasize about a different life, but still didn't get the hint that God was nudging me closer to that very thing. One morning, my friend's husband saw me upset after a particularly discouraging conversation. Even though he didn't know the details of the upsetting conversation, I believe God directed him to make a call to a friend at Santiago Christian School and ask if they needed any teachers for the coming school year. He then emailed me and said if I wanted to go to the DR, to send in my resume. I was taken aback. I wasn't looking for a new job, I was sure that God wanted me to stay right where I was, but, because I was still frustrated and uncomfortable with life in general and because I wanted to follow through with a lead, I sent in my resume...

La segunda parte está llegando!
Part two is coming!

Hello! 
 People have asked, "Are you going to blog or anything about your time in the DR?" After several requests, I thought, "Hmmm... you know, they may be on to something!" So, I decided to go for it! What better way to share all that God is doing in the DR and in one of His kids? 
So, check back occasionally to read stories of His hand at work and find out how one girl is finding joy in His adventure for her!